Sally Rooney is known for her sharp analysis of relationships (aka situationship) and the complicated feelings that come with them. Situationships are characterized by a lack of obligation/exclusivity, but the real hallmark is a lack of clear boundaries or labels. There are elements of friendship and romance, but they exist without defining the relationship. Her books often touch on deep emotions like the fear of getting too close to someone and the sadness of losing them.
In this story about Connell and Marianne, Rooney focuses on their relationship as it grows over the years. Coming from different social backgrounds in rural Ireland—Marianne, the smart loner, and Connell, the popular football player—they meet, fall in love, and face their own insecurities and fears. They both show signs of fear of attachment and loss, which affects their relationship, causing it to start and stop repeatedly. Their struggles with uncertainty and poor communication are key issues in the story.
Rooney skillfully shows how these fears lead to inner conflicts. The characters often struggle between wanting to be close and being afraid of getting too close. The story also shows how problems in their families can make it hard for them to have healthy, balanced relationships.
For readers interested in the psychological aspects of relationships, the book might offer valuable insights and opportunities for introspection. While I found the writing to be excellent, I had some difficulty fully connecting with the psychological themes. However, watching the mini-series adaptation (released in 2020 by BBC/Hulu) afterward greatly enhanced my understanding of the dynamics. The actors skillfully conveyed the intense emotions of their roles, particularly in their shared scenes, which were highly impactful.
I recommend reading the book and then watching the series for a comprehensive and full experience.
