Phew, this was quite the read!
To read what acutally happened behind the scenes was eye-opening. While I know that the public and the media always thinks they (we) hold some kind of claim over a famous person, this book hammered home some uncomfortable truths.
We are so quick to believe that everything that glitters is gold: “They were smiling, of course they were fine.” and other statements like this.
I wasn’t a huge fan of iCarly (and I haven’t watched Sam & Cat) but I was entertained by it for a while when I was a teenager and it’s heart-breaking to now read how Jennette felt during this time and what she went through.
Also, the fact that she had to tip-toe around her mum and her feelings as much as she did is so sad. The words (or some variations of it) “my mum’s happiness is my purpose” always made me want to reach out to her. To think that Jennette as a 6-year-old was already emotionally intelligent to be able to read rooms and moods (not only of her mum’s) is so tragic. She even says at one point early in her life during acting class: “I don’t like to be observed, I like to do the observing.” This in and of itself is not inherently bad, but it becomes worrysome when we count in her age and what she has to deal with at home.
It’s why the ending is so powerful. She writes down what her mum actually did, how her actions and her not dealing with her own issues impacted Jennette’s life from a very young age, and you can see how Jennette herself has come a long way.
It’s beautiful to read how she found things that made HER happy. I absolutely love her words in one of the later chapters: “Performing feels inherently fake, writing feels inherently real.”
I did enjoy the humour in her writing but it didn’t lighten the tone of the book tremendously - though I don’t think that this was her goal necessarily.
Ultimately, I think this book is definitely worth your time - even if you didn’t watch (many) of her acting works. Do check the trigger warnings though, as it is quite intense in some chapters.
